If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
- The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
- The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
- The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
- The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
So much of it rang true in many of my relationships and could also identify many aspects in others relationships as well. Have already recommended it to several people!
It gave me a new sense of understanding and compassion for myself and others in addition to helpful questions, worksheets and a summary at the end of the chapters.
Even my teaching career was exhausting as I put my job above my health and happiness. My parents are long gone but this relentless pattern continues with siblings, especially. I’ve been in therapy several times and have taken anxiety medication my whole adult life. I’m so exhausted. Dr. Gibson’s book finally broke through for me and a light was lit in my mind. My goodness, it’s like she knows my childhood and life completely. She knows.
Thank you, Dr. Gibson! I get it now and my whole life has changed because of your little book.
It's been particularly helpful in untangling the many emotions I have about my past and present as well as given me confidence in my choices going forward. I'd suggest it as a "must-read" for anyone struggling to process their family relationships and to determine what to do about them.
The book is mean to encompass a broad range of what emotional immaturity can look like. The root causes of behavior are the same. They just manifest differently in different people and relationships. There were many passages where I sat back and felt like it was describing an event from my own past. Definitely expect to take your time with this book. It's not a quick read but rather a deep dive into understanding and healing yourself.
She was able to explain why I have always felt like such an outsider in life and how many obvious truths about life that I missed from being raised like I was.
If you are looking to understand the trauma you can't put your fingers on in your childhood, this may be the book for you.